Why Do Expats Moan and Why Do Poms Whinge?

There is quite possibly nothing more annoying than a ranting, moaning, whinging expat slagging off anything and everything about their new nation of choice.  Whilst nowhere in the world is perfect, and I can accept that and I can accept that there are legitimate issues in nations all over the world that one might want to complain about, what I cannot stomach is the fact that someone who moves abroad and fails to make a smooth go of their new life will blame the country they’re living in.

Today I’m going to explore a theme – namely why do (some) expats moan and why do ‘poms’ whinge – after all, if the locals in Australia dub us Brits ‘whinging poms’ as a collective, it goes to prove that our reputation as citizens living abroad is not a particularly positive one.

So, is it about integration issues, failing to planning, cultural misunderstandings or is the issue far deeper and ingrained in us Britons alone?  Having lived in various nations around the world, those I have felt the strongest urge to damn I have subsequently swiftly moved on from – until I found a country that I could live in and love, so maybe it has more to do with nation choice?

Expats With High Hopes

Expatriates who are so disillusioned with life in the UK and who are dead set on starting a new life abroad often have such high hopes that their dream life will see them living in paradise on earth.  Often times such expats are moving abroad to a destination they have only holidayed in, and let’s face it, two weeks abroad is not the same as a lifetime abroad is it?  Such individuals often fail to do even the most basic research into the cost of living, how easy or otherwise it is to integrate, nor into the fact that probably, the place they’re moving to has rubbish weather in the winter and is a barren wasteland out of season.

When reality bites it absolutely undermines everything that the expatriate believed, and all of a sudden they’re feeling duped and lied to and they look around for someone to blame!  They will blame anyone or anything other than their own nativity and that’s why such expats moan.

Expats With No Clue

These are similar to the above, but they move abroad believing wholeheartedly that everything will be done in exactly the same way as it is ‘back home.’  They are shocked and dismayed when actually, they cannot carry on as they did in the UK and that in reality, in their new nation, many things work very differently.  They are shocked that essential forms are not translated into English, they cannot understand why they have to register their presence and prove who they are to get anywhere.  Such expats are so shocked and take their treatment so personally that they begin to swiftly loath the nation they are in and believe that everyone is just out to get them personally.

Expats Who Run Away

Expats who leg it from the UK to escape family stresses, work disasters, relationship difficulties or just what they believe is their horrible life, soon find that the reasons they were unhappy in the UK become the reasons they are unhappy abroad.  I.e., because of they themselves!  Many expats then whinge and moan about their miserable lives and whine on and on about how unfortunate they are and blame their new country because it’s an easy target – but the truth of the matter is, they are the problem and will always be the problem no matter where in the world they live.

Arrogant Expats

Expats who think they’ve done all the research, who’ve gone to evening classes to learn the lingo and who rock up in quite a flurry, certain that they will be integrated within 24 hours soon get the backs of everyone they come into contact with well and truly up.  They trample not only over the locals but over the other expats who have been in residence for far longer.  They are loud and all knowing and soon fall spectacularly on their arse and are hopefully knocked down over and over again!  This lot either leave with their tail between their legs or they learn from their mistakes and get in line!

Victimised Expats

When you embark upon a new life abroad there is an awful lot to learn in a very short space of time.  From just the practical side of life you are hit head on by massive bureaucracy when you need to register your presence, import your goods, register a car, bring animals in with or without quarantine and so on and so forth.  This is an horrendous introduction to any nation – imagine arriving in Britain and your first impressions being of the immigration department, department for transport and department for the environment, food and rural affairs.  You’d hate UK immediately!  So, expats who hit the bureaucracy wall as soon as they arrive are often disorientated through the hell of their experience and fall prey to all sorts of unpleasant types.  The more lost you are in a given situation, the more you will stand out as victim and the more likely you are to be targeted.  This is a fact I have personally seen and heard about over and over again – such expats are victimised and abused by those they come across who reach out as if to help them.  They are scammed and ripped off and no one can blame them for falling quickly out of love with their new country.

How to Avoid Becoming a Whinging Pom

Okay, so I have probably offended all fellow expats in this article but I didn’t mean to!  What I wanted to do was to make people think more – those who are abroad and who are currently moaning about anything and everything to do with their new life need to stop and think.  What is it that’s really causing you to be unhappy?  Is it because you have yet to make good friends or because you have lost the comforting familiarity of your network back home?  If so, you need to know that you can make good friends and move forward but only if you put more effort in and give it time.

If you’re unhappy with the people around you, perhaps you have attracted the nastier end of local society.  Change your socialising habits and make a better effort to get further integrated.  If you are fighting against the bureaucracy and getting nowhere it’s time to see that actually, you can’t make changes, you just have to capitulate and get on with it!  If fundamental aspects of your own life keep repeating themselves and causing you unhappiness you have to break such a cycle by looking within yourself – you cannot escape your past or run away from yourself, you have to make peace, break the cycle and then move forward.  Whether you do this at home or abroad will make no difference.

And finally, if you do actually dislike everything about your new country from the people to the food, the landscape to the climate, your accommodation and lifestyle – you’re in the wrong place.  It’s not necessarily anything you’ve done wrong and it’s not necessarily anything you can change if you remain.  You need to move on!  But before you do, do the necessary research into the new country or location you’re moving to so that you don’t repeat the same mistakes again!