How to Make Friends Abroad: Ideas for Lonely Expats

The traditional idea that expatriates are usually people who have been relocated by their employer is totally out of date.  The number of expatriate assignments has dramatically dropped over the past ten years, and nowadays expats are far more likely to be people who have made the decision to change their lives, and who have gone out there and made it happen for themselves.

The only trouble with this is that in the good old days when expats were sent abroad or even headhunted by overseas divisions, they fell right into the lap of comfort abroad because they were helped with their relocation, they had a ready made group of fellow expats on hand to befriend, and even their so-called ‘trailing spouse’ had other ‘trailing spouses’ to hook up and socialise with.

Nowadays many expats find themselves strangers in a strange land, struggling to integrate and make friends.  The adventure of a move abroad is certainly worth the effort eventually – but in the interim it can be hard to settle in and settle down if you don’t have friends you can rely on for support.  This situation is exacerbated for expats who go abroad and work from home or who take up self-employment for example.  The good news is that we can learn from those who have gone before us, and in so doing we can bring you a couple of solid ideas about how to make friends abroad.

A Lonely Expat is More Likely to Fail

Apparently ‘no man is an island’ – in other words, humans are sociable animals and we all need positive and regular contact with fellow humans in order to thrive.  For an expat this is even more pertinent and true – because when you’re in a ‘strange’ land you really do need additional support, and yet it can be hard to find.

If you go into employment you have the chance to meet people and at least communicate with others in the workplace – if you’re working from home or you’re self-employed, your daily life can be a lonely place.

If you fail to reach out and connect with other humans in a meaningful way, you will not get the nurturing of the spirit that you need to be happy – and an unhappy expat is far more likely to give it all up and head for home than a happy expat with plenty of friends.  So, if you want to succeed abroad, you owe it to yourself to find ways to make friends and meet people.

Expats Working from Home Can Apply the Jelly Mould

The concept of Jelly came about in 2006 when two roommates living in New York realised that as much as they loved working from home, they missed the regular social contact you get with colleagues in an office environment, and they missed the creative brain storming that can occur in such an environment.  So they started up a series of events where home workers could get together over a coffee, share what they were working on with others, chat and make friends, and perhaps even positively network too.

The idea has gone viral and spread right across America and beyond, and now a creative lady in France has started up her own Jelly meeting to bring expat home workers together in the Languedoc region.

Annette Morris, who lives in Hérault, has brought the Jelly mould to France – so why can’t you bring it to wherever in the world you’re working?  You can use forums to reach out and connect, you can pin flyers to notice boards in public places, you can perhaps connect via the local business association or town hall…and in no time at all you could create a positive environment where you can make friends and meet new people.

The Jelly mould is a truly positive one – it’s designed to bring creative types together to connect, bond and share – and it works so well for expats who feel isolated abroad.  If you’re stuck at home all day with your work or with the house and the kids, why not reach out to others who are in the same position.

Expat Women Can Create a Safe Haven for Children and Friendships

Women are traditionally much more likely to struggle when they move abroad if they’re the homemakers responsible for settling the family in overseas, and foregoing their chance of a meaningful career outside the home.

If you’re stuck at home all day with or without children, and you see your partner off to work every day, it can be absolutely soul destroying to then sit there and wait for them to come home again before you can have any form of conversation, let alone positive contact with a fellow human being.  And yet this is the situation many women find themselves in following a relocation abroad.

For all such women I would say – reach out and make changes!  You can offer a safe environment for other expat women with or without children (entirely up to you) to get together and connect.  Why not adapt the Jelly mould to suit your own position, and connect with other women via forums, at the school gates, through the local gym or supermarket, and suggest days out, a coffee morning, a book club, mountain bike ride, walk along the sea shore or whatever…

The emphasis is on women only, and you can of course make it an expats only event if you want, or go for integration and invite every woman along who feels alone at home all day long.  You may have to face a couple of perhaps faltering starts with only a few attendees – but with time and patience, commitment and perseverance it’s likely that word will spread and soon more women will want to attend.

In Conclusion

Yes it can be hard to connect and make friends when you’re living abroad for the first time – however, if you apply the same tenacity that was required to make your move abroad a possibility in the first place, you’ll soon be able to boast an army of friends and like-minded people.

You do have to be far more proactive at connecting with others when you’re an isolated expat, but the challenge can be oh so worth it when you not only make friends and positive contacts, but you perhaps help others to do the same.

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