On The Way to Ercan

We were on the way to Ercan and it was raining...not a lot, but enough for there to be muddy spray all over the place and for our windscreen to be covered in a not very see-through layer of sludge...which was...errrrm...hard to see through - yes.

Anyway, we had no water left in the windscreen washer bottle...(it gets more exciting, trust me)

Now, when it comes to cars I’m happy to drive them and to put petrol in them and I’ve even changed a wheel when it had a puncture AND I took it to be repaired as well...AND I was wearing a posh suit and shoes with HEELS...but I’m not allowed under the bonnet! 

I twice tried to pour windscreen washer into the radiator you see and then said “at least it wasn’t the battery”...and apparently that’s not good? 

So when it comes to the inside bit of the car that’s all grimy and complicated I’m hands off - it’s for the best. 

Now, I did however tell Andy that there was no water left AND I bought him a bottle of the de-grimy stuff to mix with the water, so I really, officially, take NO responsibility, I hope you understand.

So, anyway, we were on the way to Ercan...oh I’ve done that bit - right, well Andy was driving and it was slowly getting quite dangerous. 

I had the window down on my side to watch for pot holes and things like surprise ravines without crash barrier protection.  Andy had the window down on his side to watch for the white line in the middle of the road but he kept getting buzzed by oncoming cars, so he tried hunkering down in his seat to peer through the black stuff and visualise the road less travelled in front where other cars might just happen to be about to be rear ended...and all the while his vision is being further impaired by the beads of sweat dripping from his terrified and creased brow.

And then I remembered what was in the seat pocket on the driver’s side! 
Praise be to my dad!

My dad is kindest and most practical man in the world.

If you have any concerns or worries call my dad - go on, call him...he’ll help, honest.

He is also the ‘Top Tip King’ - from putting salt down the toilet to stop the water freezing (but why would it?) to putting sugar in sheep’s eyes...can’t quite recall why now?
Anyway, I’m serious, my dad knows EVERYTHING...and my dad’s taller than your dad, and my dad played rugby for Llanelli AND my dad knows ALL the words to Shirley Bassey’s greatest hits - so there

Now back to the seat pocket contents.

Last time I was home we’d been to Cardiff - we had to go and admire Ikea you see…
Ikea’s been a long time coming to Wales and so it was a sort of spiritual journey, a pilgrimage if you like.  Over the Brecon Beacons, down through the valleys and lo - there before us behold...Ikea.

I mean we didn’t go in or anything, but, well, we can say we’ve been there and that’s the main thing. 

It’s like the Colosseum in Rome…

So, the roads in Cardiff are all dirty and traffic filmy and my dad hates that.

And fair do’s to him really.

So he carries little packs of moist tissues...well, he SAYS they’re for his windscreen...I only found them when routling (new word definition meaning ‘to nose’) through the contents of his glove box.
And I happened to admire them.

So next thing I know, he stops on a main street in Cardiff...didn’t pull in or anything...and gets out to demonstrate their effectiveness at wiping off traffic film and thus...YES...VASTLY improving visibility! 
I was dead impressed - he could tell. 
And do you know what he did? 
He pulled in at the next services and bought me my very own packet.
Cos that’s the kind of man he is...I love him.

And that very packet travelled with me all the way back to the driver’s seat pocket in my mini pink rocket in North Cyprus.

“PULL OVER” I cried “I have the solution”
Andy swerved...more at the shock of my excited yelling than by design I think.

Next thing he knows I’m out of the car, pulling open his door and seemingly magicing a packet of moist tissue from NOWHERE.

He is clearly dumbstruck and I think I officially become his hero.
Meaning I get to wear my underpants on the outside...if I want to...which of course I don’t.

So I got to rubbing and the next thing we know...YES...our visibility VASTLY improves and we’re on the way to Ercan again.