Published on 11 December 2004 at 05:39 pm
Filed in Expat Life In Nicosia Cyprus
Apart from the weather, the people, the beauty, the majesty, the Mediterranean, the food etc.
Because they are dull, everyone loves Cyprus for those reasons…
1) Suitcases
On every street corner in every town you will find shops piled high with every type, shape, colour and size of suitcase under the sun. And every Saturday afternoon without fail you will find people falling over themselves to buy them, and staggering down the street under the weight of their suitcase purchase.
Come rain or shine, winter or summer, tourist season or quiet season, without fail you will find the suitcases and the suitcase buyers.
I still have no idea why.
2) The Milyon Shop
This is the most wonderful shop in the whole world. It sells every possible item you could think of ever even if you were to spend your whole life in thinking about it.
You can buy anything you will ever need for your entire lifetime from this shop and far more besides and it is always crammed so full of ‘product’ that the walls bulge with it, the pavements outside overflow with it and the millions of shoppers who flock to the aisles in wonder carefully pick their way through it desperately careful not to knock down the ten foot high piles of cups, plates, ornaments and glasses.
I am drawn to the inner sanctum of the Milyon Shop on an almost weekly basis. If I cannot find something I DESPERATELY HAVE TO HAVE to take me off to the shop I will go just to enjoy the atmosphere.
The excitement and thrill and down right fat satisfaction I see on people’s faces as they buy that most incredible bargain fills me with joy untold.
Come to North Cyprus, come to the Milyon Shop. I defy anyone not to be enthralled by it and all it contains - it is a MUST SEE and I am going to write to Lonely Planet and get them to include it in their guide.
P.s., examples of things what I ‘ave bought in the Milyon shop - a funky 70’s style beaded curtain in pink plastic, a miaowing purring cat in a basket complete with REAL FUR and a breathing up and down in and out stomach (unfortunately I can’t find batteries for it), make up (lots), mugs with film star type images of Ataturk on (if you don’t know who Mustafa Kemal Ataturk is, look him up on the internet you heathen), powdered milk, a STUNNING bath mat for my dad - it’s yellow with peach, white and green grinning sheep and the tag line “strolling sheep”.
3) Doorbell Chimes
From tweeting birds at 10 decibels to happy flaming birthday at 20 decibels with vibrato finale - we have them all at Palmiye Sitesi in Girne.
What pleasure I have listening to them chime and bang and wail round me...sigh.
I’ve tried disabling mine...to no avail. Stuffing it full of bog roll didn’t help either and now I’ve selotaped a duvet over it...But really, MY doorbell is the least of my worries, after all - my friends and family are courteous enough to knock on my door...it’s everyone else’s door bells that are the problem…
In fact, the only joy that a power cut brings is the temporary door bell chime cease fire!
4) Christmas Carols
From Jingle Bells to Good King Wenceslas, from Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer to We Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyda’ay’ay’ay (not quite a carol I know...) and all of them, without fail, playing at full volume in any hotel bar or beside any holiday village swimming pool in JULY.
And when you say in a confused voice - “but you’re playing Christmas carols?” - the staff will smile at you indulgently and say “yes, we like them”.
Because TRNC is Islamic (albeit Islamic Lite or Diet Muslim (their terminology, NOT me being disrespectful)) they don’t DO Christmas - so Christmas carols are just nice jolly music that makes the British visitors laugh and smile and ALWAYS WITHOUT FAIL say - in a confused voice - “but you’re playing Christmas carols?”
They love us for asking why and we love them for playing them in July.
5) The Dogs
The happy, smiling, packs of dogs - apart from the one who licked my leg when I was at the cash point machine.
6) The Water Wall In Beyti
Beyti’s is THE best kebab house in Girne - it’s best waiter is Ugly (that’s his name, again, it is NOT me being disrespectful) - in fact he isn’t even ugly...And the best thing about the best kebab house with the best waiter is the water wall.
It is AMAZING.
A huge plastic wall, complete with fake slime (at least I think it’s fake?) and the loudest almost deafening waterfall that cascades (reminiscent of Niagara) into the fish housing trough below.
It makes any visit to Beyti even more special.
I took my mum here there and everywhere when she was over - posh places and chic places, expensive places and tourist places - and on her last night cos I couldn’t be bothered to cook I took her to Beyti’s and she has never stopped talking about how wonderful an experience it was since.
7) Flowers On The Beach
On Turtle Beach they have flowers that grow out of the sand...as if by magic.
8) Man With Socks
The man with socks on the harbour front...he resides in Boaters Cafe and he always serves me a diet coke and Andy an Efes even before we’ve made up our minds that that is what we want.
Of course, that is what we always want on a summer’s afternoon when we visit...but he is just GREAT. And he has a signed photo of Lorraine Kelly.
And he ALWAYS wears socks. It could be 48 degrees and he will be wearing nice, warm, woolly socks - and sandals.
9) Car Stickers
From “follow me up the stairway to heaven” to “don’t fight me you complete me” the car stickers paint a real picture of what it is like to be a young male in TRNC.
I now carry a notepad and pen with me at all times to note down the poetry that adorns every beat up old Renault 19 driven by a 20 something Turkish Cypriot...and slowly I think I am getting to understand men more.
10) Night Jar
THE best drinking den in the TRNC bar (’scuse the pun!) NONE!
Praise be to Aydan and Rachel!
